A few weeks back David Isbell wrote about how he loved cutting his grass. He wrote that it allows him an hour of uninterrupted time to think and dream and connect with God. I told him he was nuts. I have always loathed this chore. In fact this year I hired someone to do it for me. I justified that it would allow me to spend more time with my family. And it did. Of course when my job went away this was the first and most expensive luxury that got cut (no pun intended) out of the budget.
So yesterday I hoped on my Craftsman 12.5 h.p., dual blade, 38″cutting deck riding mower…agh agh aghh (he said doing his best Tim the Toolman Taylor impression) and headed out to mow the back 40. Actually I’ve only got a little over a half acre, all grass, not a tree on the lot, except one Weeping Willow in the very front.
Here’s the funny thing, I really enjoyed it. Not only that, I needed it. It was the first time in the last few weeks I was able to get away by myself and think about all that has happened in the last few weeks. I know that compared to a lot of folks, I’ve still got it pretty good. But for someone who doesn’t deal with stress very well, I got rid of one load, and got another heaping pile dumped right back on me. Through it all I have tried to maintain to my girls that I have it all together, everything is ok. While on the inside I feel at times as if everything is spinning wildly out of control.
So yesterday I got some time, on the mower, to think, try and put it all into perspective, come up with a plan of action, and talk it over with God. To be perfectly honest, I’ve been a little upset at Him this past week. So we haven’t talked as much as usual. So I told Him everything I have been feeling. I let it all out. I even cried a little while cutting my grass (my neighbors surely think I’ve finally lost it). But it was great to finally let all those emotions out. A lot of what happens is out of my control. All I can do is trust God. He has taken care of us so far and he will continue to do so, no matter what’s waiting around the next corner.
